http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4ARxky0Qv4

Note: I meant to blog about this late last month, but I forgot!

As women of color, we all know how hard it is to even get our feet into the doors of journalism. Furthermore, once we get in and get settled into the world of bringing the news to the public, we know we have to work twice as hard and twice as often for our talents to be taken seriously. We work overtime to prove we aren’t just some affirmative action hire who at best can only provide mediocre talent.

Yet, after all that hard work, we are constantly reminded that no matter how much we excel in our jobs, our bodies and our beings will never truly belong to us.

The video above shows UFC fighter Chael Sonnen randomly asking ESPN reporter Sage Steele if he could touch her hair. Steele, who responds with an awkward, stifled laugh and responds with how “random” the question was, graciously allows Sonnen to touch her coils.

Of course, Sonnen goes on and on about how everyone just fantasizes about touching Steele’s hair and marvels at how soft it is! Who knew our naps could actually be soft and lush and not feel like a fucking Brillo pad!!!

Did you notice how Sonnen blatantly dismissed her interview as if her work as a professional is inconsequential or not important enough to respect? Gotta love that sexist derailing!

Time and again, whiteness and white folks feel it’s their God-given right to have access the bodies of women of color whenever they ask. For him to even ponder asking a reporter — during a live fucking television interview, I might add — if he can invade her personal space and touch her hair on demand is mind-boggling.

I know some of you won’t see the harm in allowing a man who is merely curious about black women’s hair. I know some of you won’t even understand why this is a big deal. After all, he compliments her about how awesome it feels, right!?

While Steele did say in a tweet she was fine with it and “couldn’t care less” and went on about how she knew he was a “wild man,” Sonnen’s ability to ask her to invade her personal space only magnifies his white privilege. It publicly declares to the world in an oh so subtle way that black women’s bodies are open for touching and exploring.

This treatment of black women and our hair as some sort of oddity and a curiosity only adds to the continued othering we have to face on a daily basis. Black women and our hair are not some mobile exotic being that exists only for the pleasure and entertainment for whiteness whenever it’s feeling bored.

Asking to pet a black woman’s hair and complimenting on how soft and velvety it feels is not a compliment; it’s a demonstration that whiteness continues to marginalize our bodies and our hair as substandard and inferior, and only exist to satisfy its occasional curiosity with the exotic.

H/T to Womanist Musings

Case in point, author Hanna Rosin wrote on Slate that feminists often prove comedian Louis C.K. right by their inability to take a joke. The joke she was referring to was over The Onion’s spoof of Chris Brown lamenting over the fact that he’d always be able to beat Rihanna to death.

Rosin writes:

Is there anyone who can read this item and not think that the writer is disgusted by domestic abuse, and more specifically disgusted by Chris Brown’s casual attitude toward domestic abuse? Apparently so, as seen in the outraged responses compiled by BuzzFeed. Feministing founder Jessica Valenti tweeted that “using Rihanna’s imagined death as fodder is awful.” Others said the article was “horrifying” and that “violence against women isn’t funny.” A Tumblr user also called out for a “trigger warning,” so they wouldn’t have to risk reading about domestic violence. This then expanded to a general discussion of whether the Onion was sexist and racist.

Would the reaction have been the same if the joke were about a conservative Republican congressman assaulting a young boy? Definitely not. Jokes are only “offensive” if they offend our particular political sensibilities. As my colleague Will Saletan points out: “It’s liberal prudery. You can soak a crucifix in urine because there’s a larger point to be made, but you can’t mix humor with domestic violence even when the point is blindingly obvious.”

The anti-Onion reactions basically amount to: hide it, don’t mention it, keep it away from our delicate sensibilities. That’s the opposite of what comedy is designed to do. In fact, this item brings more attention to domestic violence that 100 earnest blog posts on the same subject ever could. At the end of its item, BuzzFeed calls on the Onion for comment, which effectively means they are waiting for an apology. There is a precedent for this. On Oscar night, the Onion tweeted, “Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhane Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?” CEO Steven Hannah promptly took it back and apologized: “No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire,” he wrote.  Hannah was only half right. The tweet didn’t fall flat because of the subject matter. It didn’t work because it wasn’t funny. Like Tosh’s lazy rape joke, it relied on the shock value of a single word. Personally, I’m waiting for the Onion to take its latest satire a step further and do that same item from Rihanna’s point of view. That really would be an Aristocrats-level challenge.

Hm. So, we stuck-up prudish women who took issue with The Onion’s spoof are now stuffy and can’t take a joke. Got it.

I find it offensive that Rosin would reduce any panning of The Onion’s satire as basically wanting to keep the issue of domestic violence away from our oh-so-sensitive minds. Also, The Onion’s satire draws “more attention” to domestic violence than the scores of blogs that repeatedly rail against the subject and its apologists? Is she fucking joking or has she even read blogs on domestic violence?

Many women and men have used blogs as a way of coping with their abuse and sharing their experiences with those who have suffered with them. Many blogs, papers, books and articles written on domestic violence by those who work closely with victims and those who are victims themselves are what opens the eyes of the public at large on how widespread and pervasive domestic violence is.

Rosin is purely insensitive, dismissive and ignorant to claim The Onion’s role in shedding light on domestic violence. Not only is blatantly false, it also erases and trivializes the work those who are survivors and advocates of those experiencing domestic violence.

Domestic violence has not been and never will be funny. Nearly one in four women will experience some form of domestic violence in her lifetime. It’s not funny when most domestic violence cases aren’t even reported to law enforcement agencies. Domestic violence is not funny when 85 percent of victims are women. It’s not funny when many women often stay in abusive relationships because they are financially vulnerable. It’s not funny when children are forced to grow up in violent households that often puts them in fear. It’s not funny when it takes several times for a woman to permanently leave her abusive husband or partner.

I could go on and on, but I won’t.

One has a hard time believing that Rosin and backers of The Onion’s piece wouldn’t be as blase about this issue if  Rihanna was white. Rihanna’s experience with domestic violence as a black woman continues to be reduced and she herself continues to be erased by white America as undeserving of sympathy. Since we are not seen as women and worthy of protection and advocacy by the feminist establishment and America at large, black women continue to battle the stereotype that we can’t crumble at the hands of our batterers, thus our plight with the issue remains a nonissue.

[As an aside, while many folks have all but forgiven the likes of Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson, Chris Brown remains relegated to the he-will-never-regain-our-trust corner of the room. No, I'm definitely not defending Chris Brown and he will be relegated that corner of the room in my eyes. However, I can't help but to notice these glaring double standards.]

We are able to laugh and mock those we don’t see as equals, as humans, as whole. This disconnect is exactly why the likes of Rosin and The Onion can hide behind satire and laugh at Rihanna’s experience with domestic violence as if it’s just some troublesome thing that happens to women who aren’t worthy of reverence, thus deserved to be mocked.

This trend towards masquerading bigotry as humor and satire in moderate-to-liberal circles continues to place marginalized bodies into uncomfortable positions as we have to navigate these hipster -isms in groups we would have least expected such blatant disrespect.

Furthermore, Rosin’s comparison of why The Onion’s racialized sexist tweet against Quvenzhane Wallis wasn’t funny, but its latest Chris Brown/Rihanna mockery is hilarious is a blatant contradiction and shows her lack of understanding of how and why they are connected. The tweet about Quvenzhane was offensive because not only was it not funny, it was a type of racialized sexist attack black women and girls are all too familiar with. Mocking the domestic violence-filled relationship between the two singers also was a form of racialized sexism that works in tandem of whiteness’s campaign erase, reduce and trivialize the lives of black women.

From the Miami New Times Blog:

After the explosion Wilmot was taken into custody by a school resources officer and charged with possession/discharge of a weapon on school grounds and discharging a destructive device. She will be tried as an adult.

She was then taken to a juvenile assessment center. She was also expelled from school and will be forced to complete her diploma through an expulsion program.

The Polk County School District’s statement noted the experiment was a “serious breach of conduct.”

“Anytime a student makes a bad choice it is disappointing to us. Unfortunately, the incident that occurred at Bartow High School yesterday was a serious breach of conduct. In order to maintain a safe and orderly learning environment, we simply must uphold our code of conduct rules. We urge our parents to join us in conveying the message that there are consequences to actions. We will not compromise the safety and security of our students and staff.”

The district says the student’s violation of its code require her to be expelled from school. I should note Wilmot’s attorney said she was conducting the experiment in class and her teacher wasn’t aware of it, according to The Ledger.

According to Bartow police reports, Wilmot told authorities a friend had told her how to make the device. She said she brought the materials from home, and she didn’t know what would happen when they were mixed together.

“Wilmot advised she thought it would just cause some smoke,” the report states.

Pritchard said about half a dozen students were in the area, but no one was hurt and there was no damage to school property.

So, basically the district is treating Wilmot like she’s a little terrorist seeking to cause destruction on school grounds. What we also have at play are the school’s zero tolerance policies that make criminals out of students who do dumb things. And as we all know, these zero-tolerance policies have an unusually higher impact on minority, students with disabilities and economically disadvantaged students.

What’s distressing about this story is this incident will no doubt transform Wilmot, who by all accounts is an excellent student with no disciplinary problems, into yet another statistic who will have a criminal record if a grand jury returns an indictment. We all know these zero tolerance policies contribute to the criminalization of students and often local police departments are encouraged by school districts to crack down on the brown and black bodies they label as delinquents.

I would be lying if I said Wilmot’s race was not a contributing factor in police charging her with a felony, which was so eloquently argued at Gradient Lair. Despite the fact no one was hurt and the “explosion” caused no damage, police and school district officials feel it’s imperative to make an example out of Wilmot’s actions.

It’s clear that these school and law enforcement officials could care less about the safety and security of the school and even the principal said the student complied with the district after the mishap occurred. It’s clear that Wilmot’s case speaks to the policies of law enforcement agencies and school districts that funnel black and brown bodies into the ever-growing Prison Industrial Complex.

I’d fallen out of favor with Howard Kurtz years ago, so I wasn’t too surprised when I learned he actually didn’t do thorough research on Jason Collins’ announcement on Monday that he’s gay.

But, I admit I was mortified and offended by Kurtz’s callous, heteorsexist, white male privileged perspective on Collins’ coming out. Kurtz erroneously wrote that Collins’ failed to mentioned he dated a woman for eight years and was actually engaged.

Imagine that: a man actually dating and potentially marrying a woman before coming out the closet.

Kurtz claimed Collins “downplayed” the detail and proceeded to recount an interview CNN’s Piers Morgan did with Carolyn Moos, the woman Collins dated for eight years:

Courtesy Arizona Daily Wildcat/University of Arizona student Dean Saxton shows his callous feelings on rape.

Don’t we all just love these college-aged, usually white cis ultra-conservative males who feel the need to fully display their stupidity by declaring how edgy and anti-mainstream they are?

Yeah, I don’t either. Anyway, some dude at the University of Arizona thought it would be cool to show up to an anti-rape rally earlier this week with a sign saying “You Deserved Rape.” Dean Saxton, a junior majoring in religious studies, apparently preached a message to onlookers of his one-man show.

Saxton, a junior studying classics and religious studies, said his sermon was meant to convey that “if you dress like a whore, act like a whore, you’re probably going to get raped.”

“I think that girls that dress and act like it,” Saxton said, “they should realize that they do have partial responsibility, because I believe that they’re pretty much asking for it.”

How cute. Yet another privileged college-aged cis straight white guy is utilizing his privilege and claiming to be the ultimate authority on everything taking it upon himself to tell women how they can and should avoid rape. Yet another tool who hides behind the “Just don’t dress like a whore and guys will leave you alone” line that rapists have proven time and again to have no impact on men who rape.

It should be noted that Saxton is reveling in his new found fame and glory. He is proud of the fact that he would rather blame rape victims — as opposed to, you know, actual rapists who commit rape — than to take on the larger problem of society condoning and tolerating men who rape and the rape culture that backs them.

Saxton is yet another rape culture apologist who hides behind his religion and Bible to repeat a blame-the-victim message that shifts the attention away from the anti-social behavior of rape and rape culture. Rather than offer up real solutions to tackle rape  — such as teaching men to respect women’s boundaries and, most of all, not to commit rape — he’d rather resort to rape culture’s favorite fall back mechanism: blaming and shaming.

Said blaming and shaming latently promotes the notion that boys will be boys and men will be men, and women should just deal with the probability that they will be raped. Said acceptance harkens back to society’s acceptance that masculinity somehow goes hand-in-hand with violence towards women. As if masculinity, manhood, boyhood and male heterosexuality is not legitimate without some form of degradation towards women.

So, instead of challenging the subconscious acceptance that men and boys’ primal desires lie in acting out violence towards women, we instead place the burden of preventing and warding off rape on women and girls. This deflecting of the issue allows rape culture to flourish and even go undetected as men and women like Saxton will continue to perpetuate the myths that women have the sole power to stop rape.

There were some folks who criticized the college newspaper for reporting on Saxton’s antics, as this Buzzfeed article noted. The newspaper explained its decision here. I personally think the newspaper did the right thing by exposing bigots such as Saxton; while said exposure does give pro-rape culture backers like Saxton more publicity, they also have a greater chance to eventually take full responsibility for the hate they spew. It’s stories like this — and blog posts such as these — that take these people to task and make them accountable for the racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, misogynistic, sexist messages they broadcast to the public.

It would be hard for Saxton to explain this photo ten years down the road once he goes job hunting. It would be hard for him to explain to his daughter why he believed women and girls are responsible for their rape and not the rapist who raped her. Shit like this just don’t go away once he graduates college, so he’ll be left holding his bag and left trying to explain why he readily embraced such misogynistic bullshit.