Pro-interracial dating blogger wrong about black feminism, womanism

I’m a glutton for punishment. I don’t know why I continue to read certain news organizations’ content, websites or blogs, but I like to see what varying opinions are floating around out there on the Internets.

I stumbled onto a so-called Black Women Empowerment blog called Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle (note the clever URL).  I like to read these types of blogs to get an idea of what other black women are saying in the blogosphere and to get a feel of the pulse of a certain segment of black women.

The author’s post, “The primary reasons why BWE are the real champions of black women,” caught my eye. The author, known as Halima Anderson, goes into a rant on how and why black feminists and womanists have turned their backs on black women.

Just a little taste:

If you look at most of the analysis for black women out there (whether they are by womanists, black feminsists etc), it still very much considers black women entities ‘the community’. Black women are still enscribed in community and are still analyzed as beings of the black community, community agents, black community bound, their destinies and lives to be traced out only within these confines and terms.

BWE are willing to unyoke black women from ‘community’ if it will save their lives, keep them sane, prevent them from being worked to death, provide a measure of protection, ensure their resources do not become the possession of others, if it will enable them meet their dreams and goals. To BWE the work which bw do or what they are to their community, is not more important than the health and well-being of black women itself!

BWE are willing to ‘loose her and let her go’. Ask yourself, which other justice group even those that claim to be all about bw are willing to go as far as to say, ‘Black woman, you are now more in danger from within so our models and frameworks need to take this into account and to ensure the survival of bw we will be willing to go as far as detach her from our community-bound, and community-based models if necessary’.

True champions of bw put bw first, not behind the use and purpose of black women to their communities. They can imagine bw living a life outside its boundaries. Those unwilling to separate bw from the community role and community locating contribute to her oppression.

A little more:

The question is indeed in need of asking, why hasn’t black feminism brought forth new ways of looking at the black woman’s situation that could be of practical use and benefit to black women NOW in her current situation and with the nature of her current threat. Black women are indeed in a bad way yet all we get is ineffective and outdated theories that do not address the current needs of black women!

From these ‘learned’ women we have nothing but the usual ‘complaining’ about the wider system. There is nothing to address the current nature of black female oppression, the battering of black women’s image and self esteem (this time not by whites but by black men). Maybe this is why they have absolutely nothing to say nor any solution to suggest (because black feminism/womanism was all about facing the outward enemy i.e. the white man and thus has come to the limit of its operation and ability now that the white man is no longer the biggest problem of black women). 

So each day the situation gets worse and the black woman is at the point that she rises daily and wonders, ‘who is going to trash my image, today? what next? what is going to be dished at me this time?’

I’ve been reading this and many other so-called BWE blogs over the past five or six years and I’ve never come across anything so piss poor and ignorant. The post in its entirety is worth the read, even though it’s highly and blatantly inaccurate and filled with lies.

This post is so inaccurate that it’s almost laughable and unworthy of the attention I’m about to bestow upon it. But, someone has to stand up in the name of black feminism and womanism against the false attacks and misinformation coming from a so-called empowerment blogger.

Black women have a long history of criticizing attacks on black women from white men, white women AND black men. Paula Giddings’ When and Where I Enter (I strongly suggest Halima Anderson reads this book to understand how extensive black female activism on behalf of their fellow sisters has been) is a damn good example of how consistent black feminists and womanists have been in standing up to the black patriarchal community and to whiteness. bell hook’s book Ain’t I A Woman? is another classic example of black feminists and womanists coming together to criticize and work to dismantle the black patriarchal system set up to keep black women and children in subjugation.

Maybe Anderson is unfamiliar with the likes of blogs such as What Tami Said, Womanist Musings, Shark Fu at AngryBlackBitch, What About Our Daughters, Siditty, etc. Maybe she isn’t familiar with these bloggers’ consistent attacks and criticisms of the current pro-black male/anti-black female community structure, specifically What About Our Daughter’s constant coverage and analysis of the Dunbar Village tragedy. Perhaps Anderson is unfamiliar with my assessment about the pervasive examples of rape culture in hip-hop. Or perhaps my assessment of our community’s notorious behavior of blaming victims of rape, incest and child abuse.

She’s also unfamiliar with the likes of NewBlackMan, who has also challenged the damaging myths and prevailing attitudes about black masculinity and its affects on the community at large.

It was black female bloggers, including feminists and womanists, who came to the defense of the likes of Megan Williams. It was black female bloggers, including feminists and womanists, who came to the defense of the Rutgers University women’s basketball team when Don Imus referred to them as nappy headed hos–and D.L. Hughley’s “joke” about agreeing with Imus.

Black feminists and womanists came to the defense of black women and our beautiful image when Psychology Today decided a racist article on female attractiveness was worthy to be published.

Black feminists and womanists, during the height of the 1970s feminist movement, were faced with widespread criticism and backlash from black men in our community who encouraged women and children to put race first and gender second. Black feminists and womanists were on the front lines, criticizing the current black community structure–and the black men who were in support of it–as mimicking the same white patriarchal structure that brought racism, paternalism, colorism, systematic rape and torture, slavery and racial hierarchy to the forefront of American minds.

It’s nothing short of a slap in the face to have bloggers like Anderson second guess the dedication black feminists and womanists have shown to preserving, protecting and promoting black women AND children. In fact, I will go so far to say that black feminists and womanists, including black female activists who don’t claim either philosophy, have paved the way for these so-called BWE bloggers to freely promote their version of black female empowerment. In fact, black women have never had to claim the title of feminists or womanists to protect, preserve and  promote black women and children.

As an aside, I find it interesting Anderson referred to BWE bloggers as the real agents of change among black women, yet the vast majority of her posts are referencing the benefits of black women dating outside of their race. As a person who has been in an interracial relationship for nearly 10 years, I’ve seen my share of black women “dating out” and, trust me, dating men outside of your race does not equate to being empowered. You can date all the non black men in the world and still be one of the most ignorant, stagnant, backwards-thinking black women on the planet.

It’s my hope my fellow black feminists, womanists or any black woman standing up against the black community’s wall of oppression and barriers come together and school bloggers like Anderson on the blood, sweat, tears, prayers and praises many black women have gone through in the name of protecting black womanhood.

10 comments on “Pro-interracial dating blogger wrong about black feminism, womanism

  1. I just spent quite a few hours doing nothing but browsing the net reading all the comments and post about interracial dating. There is definitely strong opinions, especially when it’s on the subject of black women seeking white men. I think people feel they can post comments and say what they really want to. One thing’s for sure is we got a long way to go in race relations. The amount of ignorance is amazing. But at the same time there is no question that I’m seeing more and more interracial couples out there.

  2.  great response I agree. I really don’t think some of those “black women empowerment bloggers,” who promote white men as the answer to all black women’s problems are trying to empower black women at all actually. I’ve seen them attack black women and refer to them as “mammies,” on their pages for disagreeing with them. I’m linking this on my own blog:

  3. I have mixed feelings about the whole BWE ‘movement.’  I’ll admit, they do make some good points about certain things.   I just find it odd to connect dating inter-racially with empowerment.  When I first started lurking around these blogs and posted a few comments every now and then  it was because I wanted to join a community of black women who were open to dating inter-racially, but BWE is something else entirely, they promote dating inter-racially but take it step further to connect it with ‘living well’ and all that. 

    I agree with Windy about others disagreeing with them, BWE bloggers have the worst case of confirmation bias.

  4. {Sigh} It is a shame that people use interracial relationships as a platform for any “movement”. While I myself am a big proponent of multicultural tolerance and understanding…as well as Black empowerment, what happens in my personal romantic life is ultimately my business. To me, it seems grossly perverted to get married just to make a statement. It corrupts the entire point of marriage and completely misses the point of using marriage as a foundation upon which to build a home together.

    It seems strange that Ms. Anderson pits the Black community against the “empowered” Black woman. Empowered people need a community to be where the are. Unfortunately I think that she is taking dissenting sentiments, and writing off the entire community because of them…which is a shame.

  5. This quote is from Sophia A. Nelson:

    “How ironic that black women would turn to white men for love and comfort after our journey began here 400 years ago being raped, dishonored, and owned by white men. I know that no-one wants to go there. But we need to go there sisters. We need to take our definition as ‘woman’ back and heal ourselves so we can love our men, and they can love us in return (yes they need to heal too and they have issues too!). ”
    That’s the question the so-called BWE needs to answer. To throw Black feminists under the bus to impress Black-hating nonblacks is disgusting.

  6. I guess no one that for black to survive they must get out of blackistan, this is what Glenda Moore and Renisha McBride did.

  7. I strongly believe that racial discreminaton is incorrect. But I think black women marrying to a white men is not the solution.Black women must fight for their rights.They must show what they can do for their nation. And for the black men they don`t have to discriminate the black women because they have the same color and they came in the same race.

  8. I started to look at BWE blogs and posts exclusively for the past year or so, hoping to find solace from being bullied by Black males for being dark skin and ”ugly” and because I wanted to find a save place for Black women like myself to speak about the issues that affected them. I was pretty pleased with the message of BWE and I still believe in many of their sentiments when it comes to what is going on in our own communities. However what I don’t like is the way many of the commenters on many of these so called BWE Empowerment blog are nasty and call women names such as Mammy if they disagree with them.

    I am aware that not everyone is going to agree with everyone. People have their own opinions based on their own experiences and what they believe in but I don’t think that people should put others down for their opinions and call them names. But many people use the internet to say things that they wouldn’t say to others in person. And BWE Empowerment blogs aren’t the only place that I have seen this happen either. I have seen this happen in many other blogs and places as well however as of recently, many of the going back and forth and bickering in BWE spaces just got too much for me.

    I was tagged in a link about Marilyn Monroe by a friend in the BWE Empowerment. I like Marilyn but there are other old time Hollywood actresses that I find more intriguing and better actresses than she was. I had fun commenting on the link with several other women until this woman came at me and told me that I was being disrespectful to Marilyn Monroe. I didn’t write anything disrespectful about Marilyn Monroe at all. This woman and I went back and forth until I couldn’t even take it anymore. Another woman defended me on the post. Incidents like this are very common in these spaces. This incident was a wake up call to me that many women and bloggers in BWE are for Whites instead of the betterment of Black women. Especially when another Black woman would throw another Black woman under the bus to defend a dead celebrity White woman.

    I know not all of the women in these blogs are like this. I have met a few genuine women in these blogs who are for bettering Black women and speaking out against the colorism and misogyny along with racism that we as Black women face. But honestly, these women are far in between.

    Another thing I don’t like is that many of these blogs fail to even mention how White supremacy plays a role in the condition that Black women are in today. Everything is about Black male this and that. I understand that it is important to address Black male patriarchy and sexism because it is an important topic that needs to be addressed but what about how White supremacy and patriarchy’s role in oppressing Black women? I believe both are holding Black women back.

    And many of these women seem to have a dislike for foreign Black women as well and it bothered me because I am a Black woman who isn’t of AA descent. I want that division to stop as well.

    Most of all, I am not here to discredit the BWE Empowerment movement in general but to point out that I don’t like what I see in these blogs with the commenters. Thus I will focus on Black feminism from now on.

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