>I have something shocking to say. It’s gonna scare you. Here goes: I’ve been in an interracial relationship for the past five and a half years. What’s even more shocking is his age: he’s 40. Yes, 40. Not 20, not even 30, but the big 4-0.
This is the only man that makes me smile every time I talk to him, every time I see him, every time I touch him. He’s the only man that I feel 100% comfortable around. So, why does his (my) skin color pose such a problem for people?
My boyfriend and I have been lucky in that we have not had any outwardly negative experiences towards us. Of course, we get the glares and the whispers, but nothing that makes us upset or fearful.
For many people, seeing a black woman “stepping outside her comfort zone” is enough to turn heads: whether she’s dating outside of her race, listening to “different” types of music or talking “differently.”
Something about “different” black women is a threat to America: if she isn’t a replica of the “I Love New York” character on VH1, she is immediately viewed as suspicious.
My relationship has nothing to do anyone. I’m not with a white man because I had a bad experience with a black man or despise black men. I’m not in an interracial relationship because I’m ashamed of my skin color and want to produce more light-skinned babies (ewwww…babies). I’m not in an interracial relationship because I wanted to turn my back on black America.
I’m in an interracial relationship because it was a choice I made. Before we got serious, I talked to numerous guys, all of them were black. One was a little…weird, to say the least. The other wasn’t interested in me; and the other was sort of a player.
The white guy actually showed interest in me; he asked me about my future, likes, dislikes, etc. He actually liked the fact I was passionate about politics, something my previous interests didn’t care for. So, after seeing he was genuinely interested, our relationship took a serious turn and here we are.
I don’t wear my relationship on my sleeve. In fact, I don’t even talk about my love life. I’ve become so disappointed that people take my relationship as a slap in the face to black unity.
So, believe it or not, my white boyfriend has nothing to do with you.